Accepting Yourself as a Work of Art

Art Undone - Acceptance

I was in the fourth or fifth grade in, ironically, art class when I realized that my initials spelled art. I thought it was super cool that my initials spelled art and of course, I made a big deal out of it for the rest of the class time. But, sometime between that class and college, I forgot about ART. Well, maybe I didn’t forget about my initials being ART, but it didn’t have any significant meaning. During that period, I also never connected to art. I always thought it didn’t make much sense to me. It felt unattainable. I didn’t get it.

So, here I am now, completely embracing Art as a name and as a concept. Yes, the initial reasoning behind this was to have a synonym for my name during my job searching process, BUT it’s turned into so much more. How, because, I, you and we are all pieces of art. The Oxford Dictionary defines art as “The expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture”, and I’d like to add such as people. Because isn’t part of who we are imagined and manifested?

We create our vision and we paint our lives with action. It doesn’t always turn out exactly how we imagined. Sometimes we draw out the lines. Sometimes we’re abstract paintings that people don’t get because everyone’s used to looking at photorealism. Art is subjective. We are subjective. There are artists who never get their due respect until they’re dead. There’s not one single work of art that every single person in this world loves. But, there’s someone out that loves the “ugliest” painting to ever be made. We are all art. We paint our story.

And just like painting, once the paint is on the canvas, no matter what you do, you can’t ever completely start over. You can re-imagine and re-utilize, but you can’t start over. You just have to take what you have and make it beautiful. Some works of art take longer to “fix” than others, but the most important and essential part of this process is that when you walk away from your piece of art, you should walk away proud. Even if you have to turn, rotate or flip it, you, the artist, should be able to say job well done, even if your art isn’t completely done.

Accepting and loving your art during the entire process.

Every layer matters. Every stroke matters. It doesn’t matter if you like it or not, it is now apart of your journey and it will eventually create and allow you to picture exactly who you are at that moment and time. It may not be ideal, but it is who you are. A part of art and you being art is accepting who you are at every stage of your life, no matter how you feel about it. As you continue to grow, you’ll learn how to turn your mistakes into flowers and your regrets into depth. It’s all about perception. It’s important during your process to be honest with yourself, but also look at the canvas you’re painting as invaluable. Every stroke matters, so do it with passion, determination and intention. It’s okay to not know exactly what you’re painting or doing, but it is important to do it with intention.

Accepting that you are the artist and your canvas is yours.

The day you realize that this life you are painting is yours and there’s an audience of one, the quicker you can start create something that fulfills you and makes you happy. It’s your canvas, so do as you please. Get wild, even reckless. Just know everything will have its place in your story. Just remember this life, this canvas is yours, so make it count in the best way you can.

Signed,

Art Undone

Have you been ghosting yourself?

Art Undone - Ghosting

Note: This was written Pre-Rona, so, as always, take what you need and leave the rest. Take Care of you!


No matter how you feel about ghosting, I think we can all agree to be the person on the receiving end sucks. For those who may not be familiar, ghosting is when a person who has been in contact with another person on a rather consistent basis unexpectedly ceases all communications with that other person, essentially turning into a ‘ghost’. I’ll admit, I’ve been ghosted before by someone and it completely sucked. They were initiating all these future plans and emotions, just for them to go ghost for absolutely no reason. I was shook. I feel like I was even more in my feelings because Issa on Insecure was getting ghosted at the same time. It was too much. Basura.

Back to the point, many people have different definitions of ghosting, but I think the worst part may be the consistent communication with a lack of warning signs that shit is about to go left. Then the next thing you know, you’re at home blaming yourself for all these what-if situations that really had nothing to do with you. However, you’re still ghosted, alone, and trying to figure it all out.

Ghosting can happen in a plethora of situations. From recruiters ghosting you to friends, ghosting happens a lot. However, I don’t think we talk about it enough when we ghost ourselves. Ghost ourselves? Huh? Let me explain….

Just like a person may ghost you because something came up, an old flame popped up with the “wyd big head” text or maybe they just changed their minds about you. Harsh, but it happens. While I don’t feel like we admit it, we do the same thing to ourselves. How many times do we make plans with ourselves? How we’ll write more, take care of ourselves better, create peace within only for us to ghost ourselves because of life, or someone else popped-up. We’ll leave ourselves on ‘read’ for days, weeks, and even months to tend to everyone else and come back to ourselves like nothing happened and we didn’t break all our promises.

We tend not to look at it like this because it seems too harsh or restrictive of the fact that we’re living in an outside world and can’t just focus on ourselves. However, I think we tend to do ourselves a disservice by not acknowledging the relationship with ourselves is just as important, if not more important than any other relationship in our life. We have all this energy to be mad and frustrated with others when they don’t live up to our expectations, but we tend to forget about the commitments we’ve made to ourselves.

I want to be clear, this is not a green light to kick yourself over every missed gym appointment or every journal entry not written. Instead, just as we tend to ask in a relationship, I think it’s important to listen to yourself, your body, and your mind and find ways that allow you not to “ghost’ yourself in the midst of life. It’s okay to acknowledge that you know the next week will be crazy and you’ll have minimal time to fully address all your needs, however, don’t just ghost yourself for an extended amount of time. Be intentional, just as you would hope others would, with your time, expectations, and needs.

Yes, 9 times out of 10, when you return back to yourself, you’ll be there fully ready to accept any attention you can get. However, sometimes when you ghost yourself for such a long time, you forget who you are. You don’t remember who you are coming back to. You forget your needs, your wants. All those things you used to be in sync with that helps you get by, are faded memories. So, if you find yourself ghosting yourself, be intentional on ways to not lose yourself in this loud ass, crazy ass world because it’s so easy to do.

Signed,

Art Undone

Dear Art at 27

Dear Art at 27

Dear Art at 27,

I’m already so proud of us. We have already accomplished so much this year, I can’t help but already be proud of you for things I know you will accomplish at 27. That’s honestly how confident I am in us. It’s so much bigger than being perfect or having It all figured it, it’s about being true to ourselves and just doing the best we can in this crazy, beautiful, wonderful life we are blessed to have.

Art at 26 showed out honey! I mean, we freaking moved to Chicago, on our own! We started a new job that changed our tax bracket. We’re navigating a new, completely different city on our own. I mean, can you say growth? We started THERAPY! Thank God for Therapy! We had Hoodie Season 2! It’s just so much. Even without a list of technical “accomplishments”, I’m so very proud of all the mental and emotional growth that we’ve done in this INSANE year.

Sorry that you couldn’t be celebrate the 4th annual ART Weekend with your friends in Atlanta due to the Rona (Coronavirus) messing up your plans, but don’t fear, this birthday and this year will be amazing. I’ve been doing a lot of reflection on life and I can fully say that while this year has been no crystal staircase, your life has been very fulfilling and blessed in so many ways. I honestly can say “Job well done, beautiful!”.

I really wish I could put into words the amount of emotional and mental growth that has happened this year. It’s honestly part of the reason I haven’t been putting out as many blogs because so much has happened. So much is still happening and I really don’t have all the words. Everything just feels different. I’m literally sitting and typing in the middle of a pandemic and I’m so calm. I’m happy. We’re happy going into our 27th birthday. We feel so good. It feels like all the mental work we’ve done by establishing boundaries, maintaining peace and overcoming trauma is paying off. The crazy part is that we’re still in the thick of it, but this is a peace that surpasses all understanding. It feels like a miracle honestly. It feels like a blessing. It feels like God.

What’s crazy is that as much as I’d love to be with my friends and eating the best fried shrimp in Middle Georgia, I feel like I’m right where I/we should be. This year I’ve realized that past Alena has gotten us through so much. From past blogs, journal notes and therapy sessions, I’ve found a way to leave myself multiple resources to get through the toughest of times. That’s why I know Art at 27 will be okay.

Art at 27, you have 26 versions of yourself that have consistently found ways to be there for you before they even knew you would be here. I don’t have much advice or predictions for what this year will bring. I just know that you will be okay. You’re a survivor. You’re a thriver. Regardless of what life brings, you’ve done a damn good job with everything you’ve been given. You’ve made lemonade out of lemons. You’ve overcome things others will never know. You’ve had very hard conversations with the people you love. You’ve made some very difficult choices. You haven’t given up. You may have had to re-adjust, but you haven’t given up. I can’t say enough how damn proud I am of you.

Whatever this year brings you personally, never forget your worth and how amazing you are. I’m once again going to say Job well done already because I’m already proud on day 1.

I love you beyond measure. Stay beautiful, stay true and trust your growth.

Love,

Art at 26