Why the Hell Can’t I Get Off Of Social Media?

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Listen Linda! Linda! Listen! I was/have been going through it with social media this year and it’s NOT something I want to admit. However, I’ve already told ya’ll that I’m undone and this is part of my unpretty truth. I’m happy to say I am much better now, but the fact remains the same that it can happen to anyone and I’m just going to be real enough to admit it. It came to the point where I had to ask myself, “Why the hell can’t I get off of Social Media?”. These are some of my findings and they aren’t cute, but here we are.

You can’t mind your own business.

Social Media is about being social. Yes, liking, viewing, and sharing is a form of actively being in a social space. Let’s be honest, you do this because it takes you away from minding your own business. You now have a reason to leave all your problems or tasks behind and you can just focus on absolutely nothing that concerns you. It’s easy. It’s accessible. It’s free. Truth is, not minding your own business costs you something more valuable than money, time; Time that you can’t get back because you couldn’t mind your own business.

You don’t have your own business to mind.

You can’t mind your own business if you don’t have any. Let’s be honest, a lot of our lives can be boring at times. Instead of making life something we would be proud of, we decide that other people’s lives are more interesting to focus on. Of course, when you’re on autopilot, you have more time to check out the views and focus on everyone else but you.

You’re addicted.

Yes, addicted. People get addicted to social media and sometimes they aren’t even consuming the information. It’s a time suck and it’s easy to get stuck just scrolling to scroll, taking in mostly useless information just because it is available to us. If you are addicted, it’s probably harder than ever to put your phone down with the fear that you MIGHT miss something important. Instead of deciding to live your life, you’d rather be an audience member of someone else’s show.

It makes you happy

You laugh. You cry. You share. You comment. You retweet. You feel a part of the crowd. Social media brings happiness to a lot of people. It’s original intent was to connect people…i.e. be “social”.

Other/Miscellaneous

So, have you identified your problem of why you can’t get off of social media? If not, take some time to think about the feelings it gives you. What are you doing when you decide you have to check your phone? What are you trying to stop doing when you pick up your phone?  Before you can find a solution, you have to find the problem.

Solutions?

For once, I’m not going to give you the answer because honestly, it’s different for everyone depending on the day and I don’t know if I have them… but good news! You have clicked this blog and realized you have a problem (or that I have a problem and you’re laughing at me right now). I’m in the same boat, I realize I have a problem and I know there must be a solution. So, here’s what I’ve been doing/trying to do:

  • Find something to do! Ever since I’ve been busy working on my own projects, social media has become less important, unless it directly deals with my projects. It’s amazing what happens when you have your own business to mind.
  • Take away the ease of access from the social media apps that I spend the most time on. Example. I can only access Twitter on my laptop.
  • Limit the amount of time you are on social media with an app. The Space app helps me drastically by sending reminders when I’ve been on social media for too long.
  • Create an alternative, quick access task for you to do to replace the time you spend on social media. I’ve downloaded some game apps, knowledge-based apps, and e-books as alternatives.
  • Go completely cold turkey and delete the apps. You would be amazed at how much time you waste on social media by not getting on it at all. This allows you to have more time to think, including thinking of new things you can do instead of being on social media.
  • Find a passion project, then put deadlines on it. When you’re focused on something meaningful, the meaning-less matters less
  • Travel… Most countries don’t have data available. You have to live more. (This may just be a selfish plug for traveling. Don’t judge me!)
  • Hide your shortcuts to your apps. While you’re searching for them, you’ll realize how much you don’t actually need it.

To be real, Social media is hard to get rid of, but it’s possible to survive without it. Ask your mom & dad. Don’t worry, you’ll know what you need to know. Your friends will tell you when Beyoncé drops. Stop using social media as a crutch and live more. How about we do it together?

Signed,

ART getting it together

Changing Directions | Making the Turn Anyways

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When it’s time to make a change or turn in your journey, you have to prepare yourself for the turn. Or, you can take the risk of losing control and just moving into your new turn without any warning. The more seasoned and prepared you are for a turn, the easier it is for you to maneuver curves and keep control.

Ever instantly identify a new driver on the road by how they slowly inch towards the turns on the roads? Or the super anxious new drivers who give their parent whiplash by not slowing down and drifting the curves like they’re auditioning for the 20th installment of the Fast and Furious?

The thing is that as long as you don’t crash or hurt yourself, a turn is a turn. A lesson is a lesson. Don’t be afraid to take that turn if you know you can make it. Don’t be embarrassed because you drive slower than molasses to get to the turn. You still got there. You’re still making a move towards somewhere you’ve never seen or experienced.

Regardless of how your change happens, make it happen. Even if you crash, pinpoint what you did wrong and don’t be afraid to get up and try again.

No one asks a driver how they exactly got to a destination. The point is they got there. So, if there is somewhere you want to go that’s off of your “projected” path, take that leap of faith and make the turn. Even if you have to slow down and bit, make the turn. Even if you missed a few of the warning signs that the turn was coming up, if you still can, make the turn.

A change in direction is not a setback if the destination is where you’re meant to be. Make the turn and if it doesn’t work out, it’s now just a path you know not to take anymore.

Signed,

Art Undone

Stop Torturing Yourself

ART - Stop Torturing Yourself.

(Note/Warning: This was definitely a self-read so here’s a look into my stream of consciousness)

At some point, you have to stop torturing yourself. Replaying and internalizing situations that you know are no good for you or are no longer available to you. You have to break up with the ideas of these things happening because at this point you are self-inflicting yourself with wounds that need time to be healed instead of re-opened for more exposure to harmful environments that can cause infections.

Stop putting yourself through voluntary mental warfare just to see if you are progressing. Allow yourself time to fully heal before you voluntarily go back to the battlefield. It’s not helping your healing process.

Sometimes you just need to let things go. I don’t mean storing them in a storage bin in your closet for ‘just in case’ scenarios, I mean take that shit to the city dump, toss it in the pile and never look back. You have to fully let go in order for something new to have the chance to grow. Scabs don’t disappear until you stop messing with them. Cut off all contingency plans and allow yourself to be free. Be free. Take off those mental chains that won’t allow your brain to process new horizons and be completely free of this mental battlefield you don’t even have to fight.

This battle doesn’t have to be fought. You already won the war. You have to get out the mentality of the game and step into something new. Have the audacity to leave the battlefield and never look back. Stop letting the ‘idea’ of someone hurt you. Stop letting the idea of someone hurt you. It’s all in your mind and even if it is true, that’s none of your business. Focus on yourself. Love yourself. Feed yourself. Free yourself.

You were once walking into the jail and closing the door because you liked the familiar surroundings. No longer. We don’t do that any longer. We are freeing ourselves of relying on these made up ideas of others and accepting people for exactly who they are. That doesn’t mean we don’t deal with them, that means that we take away the costume we put on them to make them fit into our life.

So, what are we doing now? We’re also taking off the idea of us that we have hung onto that’s hindering us from growing. We’re being honest with ourselves and loving ourselves for who we are we now, in whatever part of life we are in and not covering ourselves with layer after layer of who we think we are. Instead, we are living our absolute truth and loving on ourselves. The energy we put into creating storylines for the people around us, we’re taking that energy back. We are taking that energy back and putting it into our own mental, emotional and spiritual growth. That cloak of emotional invincibility, we’re taking that off too. We’re going to be honest with our emotions. We’re going to let ourselves feel. We’re going to let out all of those emotions and then, we are getting in the car, going to the city dump and letting all of that shit go. We’re not holding onto emotions for ‘just in case scenarios’. We’re not allowing ourselves that opportunity anymore because better opportunities are worth taking.

So, if you need to heal, take the time to do so. Comfort those demons, but after you’re done, let it go. We’re not going back just to live in the past. We’re not going back just because the feeling of pain feels almost comforting and familiar. Instead, we’re moving forward and letting all those ideas, dreams & detrimental case scenarios go. We’re going to be free. It will be glorious.

Love,

ART Undone