Have you been ghosting yourself?

Art Undone - Ghosting

Note: This was written Pre-Rona, so, as always, take what you need and leave the rest. Take Care of you!


No matter how you feel about ghosting, I think we can all agree to be the person on the receiving end sucks. For those who may not be familiar, ghosting is when a person who has been in contact with another person on a rather consistent basis unexpectedly ceases all communications with that other person, essentially turning into a ‘ghost’. I’ll admit, I’ve been ghosted before by someone and it completely sucked. They were initiating all these future plans and emotions, just for them to go ghost for absolutely no reason. I was shook. I feel like I was even more in my feelings because Issa on Insecure was getting ghosted at the same time. It was too much. Basura.

Back to the point, many people have different definitions of ghosting, but I think the worst part may be the consistent communication with a lack of warning signs that shit is about to go left. Then the next thing you know, you’re at home blaming yourself for all these what-if situations that really had nothing to do with you. However, you’re still ghosted, alone, and trying to figure it all out.

Ghosting can happen in a plethora of situations. From recruiters ghosting you to friends, ghosting happens a lot. However, I don’t think we talk about it enough when we ghost ourselves. Ghost ourselves? Huh? Let me explain….

Just like a person may ghost you because something came up, an old flame popped up with the “wyd big head” text or maybe they just changed their minds about you. Harsh, but it happens. While I don’t feel like we admit it, we do the same thing to ourselves. How many times do we make plans with ourselves? How we’ll write more, take care of ourselves better, create peace within only for us to ghost ourselves because of life, or someone else popped-up. We’ll leave ourselves on ‘read’ for days, weeks, and even months to tend to everyone else and come back to ourselves like nothing happened and we didn’t break all our promises.

We tend not to look at it like this because it seems too harsh or restrictive of the fact that we’re living in an outside world and can’t just focus on ourselves. However, I think we tend to do ourselves a disservice by not acknowledging the relationship with ourselves is just as important, if not more important than any other relationship in our life. We have all this energy to be mad and frustrated with others when they don’t live up to our expectations, but we tend to forget about the commitments we’ve made to ourselves.

I want to be clear, this is not a green light to kick yourself over every missed gym appointment or every journal entry not written. Instead, just as we tend to ask in a relationship, I think it’s important to listen to yourself, your body, and your mind and find ways that allow you not to “ghost’ yourself in the midst of life. It’s okay to acknowledge that you know the next week will be crazy and you’ll have minimal time to fully address all your needs, however, don’t just ghost yourself for an extended amount of time. Be intentional, just as you would hope others would, with your time, expectations, and needs.

Yes, 9 times out of 10, when you return back to yourself, you’ll be there fully ready to accept any attention you can get. However, sometimes when you ghost yourself for such a long time, you forget who you are. You don’t remember who you are coming back to. You forget your needs, your wants. All those things you used to be in sync with that helps you get by, are faded memories. So, if you find yourself ghosting yourself, be intentional on ways to not lose yourself in this loud ass, crazy ass world because it’s so easy to do.

Signed,

Art Undone

The Free Breakfast Podcast | Episode 9 | This is TEW Much! Dealing with Stress/Anxiety

Free Breakfast - Option 1

Beyoncé, Therapy, Battlefields, Off-Pitch notes, & a few sprinkles of Spiciness are all on this week’s menu of The Free Breakfast Podcast. Let’s Eat!
Stress Vs. Anxiety Article: https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/external/2018/06/stress-vs-anxiety/
Therapy Resources: https://www.therapyforblackgirls.com/ ; https://www.talkspace.com/

Join in on the fun and hashtag us! #FreeBreakfastPod🍳

Email us questions or feedback at freebreakfastpodcast@gmail.com.


Free Breakfast Podcast Episodes

The Free Breakfast Podcast is free, fun and fulfilling conversations between a granddaughter and her grandmother. We’ll discuss topics such as boundaries, pet peeves and so much more. No matter your age, we believe you can get something worthwhile from the Free Breakfast Podcast. We hope you all are ready for a good time because we are!

The Free Breakfast Podcast | Episode 8 | Signs & Sighs of Getting Older

Free Breakfast - Option 1

This episode, Art & Nanny discuss signs of getting older, doctor visits, acting like your mom and more. Let’s Eat!

Join in on the fun and hashtag us! #FreeBreakfastPod🍳

Email us questions or feedback at freebreakfastpodcast@gmail.com.


Free Breakfast Podcast Episodes

The Free Breakfast Podcast is free, fun and fulfilling conversations between a granddaughter and her grandmother. We’ll discuss topics such as boundaries, pet peeves and so much more. No matter your age, we believe you can get something worthwhile from the Free Breakfast Podcast. We hope you all are ready for a good time because we are!

 

The Free Breakfast Podcast | Episode 7 | Getting To Know Yourself

Free Breakfast - Option 1

This episode, Art & Nanny discuss their journey to self-discovery. How exactly do you get to know yourself? What does it mean to have a relationship with yourself? How do you hold yourself accountable while trying to grow? These are all questions they explore on this episode of The Free Breakfast Podcast. Let’s Eat!

Join in on the fun and hashtag us! #FreeBreakfastPod🍳


Free Breakfast Podcast Episodes

The Free Breakfast Podcast is free, fun and fulfilling conversations between a granddaughter and her grandmother. We’ll discuss topics such as boundaries, pet peeves and so much more. No matter your age, we believe you can get something worthwhile from the Free Breakfast Podcast. We hope you all are ready for a good time because we are!

 

The Free Breakfast Podcast | Episode 6 | An Extra Side of Confidence Please

Free Breakfast - Option 1

This episode, Art & Nanny discuss their relationship with confidence and what it means to them. Does building confidence mean you start out lying to yourself? Is it necessary to have confidence to live a fulfilling & successful life? These are some of the questions Art & Nanny explore. Let’s Eat!

Join in on the fun and hashtag us! #FreeBreakfastPod🍳

Free Breakfast Podcast Episodes

The Free Breakfast Podcast is free, fun and fulfilling conversations between a granddaughter and her grandmother. We’ll discuss topics such as boundaries, pet peeves and so much more. No matter your age, we believe you can get something worthwhile from the Free Breakfast Podcast. We hope you all are ready for a good time because we are!

 

The Free Breakfast Podcast | Episode 5 | The Suggestion Box (Taking Criticism)

Free Breakfast - Option 1

This episode, Art & Nanny discuss their sometimes complex relationship with criticism from the giving and receiving ends. When is the right time to close the suggestion box? Do you consider the source when taking criticism? These are all questions Art & Nanny explore. Let’s Eat!

Join in on the fun and hashtag us! #FreeBreakfastPod🍳

Free Breakfast Podcast Episodes

The Free Breakfast Podcast is free, fun and fulfilling conversations between a granddaughter and her grandmother. We’ll discuss topics such as boundaries, pet peeves and so much more. No matter your age, we believe you can get something worthwhile from the Free Breakfast Podcast. We hope you all are ready for a good time because we are!

 

The Free Breakfast Podcast | Episode 4 | A Trip Down Memory Lane

Free Breakfast - Option 1

This episode, Art & Nanny take a light trip down memory lane and visit their childhoods, including some embarrassing stories. It’s amazing what you can learn about yourself and others from looking back.

Join in on the fun and hashtag us! #FreeBreakfastPod🍳

Free Breakfast Podcast Episodes

The Free Breakfast Podcast is free, fun and fulfilling conversations between a granddaughter and her grandmother. We’ll discuss topics such as boundaries, pet peeves and so much more. No matter your age, we believe you can get something worthwhile from the Free Breakfast Podcast. We hope you all are ready for a good time because we are!

 

The Free Breakfast Podcast | Episode 3 | Petty Peeves

Free Breakfast - Option 1

This was fun! This episode we explore what really gets our goats or,  according to the Gettin Grown Podcast, our petty peeves.

Join in on the fun and hashtag us! #FreeBreakfastPod🍳

Free Breakfast Podcast Episodes

The Free Breakfast Podcast is free, fun and fulfilling conversations between a granddaughter and her grandmother. We’ll discuss topics such as boundaries, pet peeves and so much more. No matter your age, we believe you can get something worthwhile from the Free Breakfast Podcast. We hope you all are ready for a good time because we are!

 

Thank You, Next.

I think it’s important to note that some things are irreplaceable. Without them, things will just not be the same. No matter if there are millions of that one thing, you won’t ever be able to get that special one you once you had back. And this fact sucks. It sucks so bad that you may cry. You may cry and always compare everything else to what once was, but you eventually have to face reality. With reality, you may have to mourn or celebrate the experience or object, but eventually, you have to let go of the attachment and find a way to move forward. It’s not easy, but necessary to make room for a new thing. Not the same thing, but a new thing. A new normal.

So, today, I’m mourning the loss of a pinnacle item in my creative life, my beloved laptop. The way I’m going to do that is to share all the memories I had with it before I let it go. This may be absolutely too personal, but I need to thank it and I decided I would share in its celebration because there would be nothing worse than making my creative being suffer because of a series of unfortunate events.

Instead, my laptop would want me to find a way to post anyways and continue the creative and educational legacy we started from the day we met. So, before I start with my mourning/celebration process, I’d like to credit Tidying Up by Marie Kondo because watching her show will hopefully help me get this closure… although I can’t hug my laptop and hold it close….*Goes to cry for a second*. Also, I’m totally fine with being called dramatic for my processes. HOWEVER, I’ll always live in my truth, no matter how extra it may seem. Tuh! I’d also like to note that about a year ago when I blogged about a hard reset, this is NOT what I meant… Anywho, let’s get started…

  • First and Foremost, thank you for being a reliable resource for me to get my thoughts out when physically writing wouldn’t do the trick.
  • Thank you for the countless amount of hours we spent together watching The Office.
  • Thank you for housing thousands upon thousands of my beloved pictures that I’m going to miss so dearly. My Pictures :-(.
  • Thank you for helping me graduate from college!
  • Thank you for helping me learn Spanish in order to go to Spain, TWICE!
  • Thank you for being with me on late nights when I was looking and searching for my first internships and jobs.
  • Thank you for always having my playlists ready to go on Spotify.
  • Thank you for being a getaway.
  • Thank you for handling my multi-tabs when my head was all over the place and I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do next.
  • Thank you for being there for me on nights I couldn’t sleep and decided to start a new project instead.
  • Thank you for holding some of my most precious thoughts and allowing me a blank canvas to create as I pleased.
  • Thank you for being a tool that was utilized in my personal and professional growth.
  • Thank you for always waiting to die until I found the charger.
  • Thank you for being a superior computer that allowed me to be an efficient remote worker when needed.
  • Thank you for being an encyclopedia of some of my most cherished moments…
  • Thank you for teaching me an invaluable lesson because of your tragic loss…
  • Thank you for lasting as long as you did, especially when sometimes I didn’t take care of you as well as I should have.

So, yeah, thank you Laptop. I’ll miss you and all the memories you held dearly. Maybe the universe will have you return to me unscathed. However, if that should not be in our future, thank you for everything and I promise to make sure I take care of my new bae better and back up everything…. Later gator.

Love,

Art Undone.

The Free Breakfast Podcast | Episode 2 | Welp, There Goes 2018!

Free Breakfast - Option 1

This episode we talk about how crazy, beautiful and hectic our 2018 year was. We learned a lot and we’re ready to talk about it!

Join in on the fun and hashtag us! #FreeBreakfastPod🍳

Free Breakfast Podcast Episodes

The Free Breakfast Podcast is free, fun and fulfilling conversations between a granddaughter and her grandmother. We’ll discuss topics such as boundaries, pet peeves and so much more. No matter your age, we believe you can get something worthwhile from the Free Breakfast Podcast. We hope you all are ready for a good time because we are!